母亲原文
说起我的母亲，我只知道她是“浙江海宁查氏”，至今不知道她有什么名字！这件小事也可表示今昔时代的不同。现在的女子未出嫁的固然很“勇敢”地公开着她的名字，就是出嫁了的，也一样地公开着她的名字。不久以前，出嫁后的女子还大多数要在自己的姓上面加上丈夫的姓；通常人们的姓名只有三个字，嫁后女子的姓名往往有四个字。
在我年幼的时候，知道担任商务印书馆出版的《妇女杂志》笔政的朱胡彬夏，在当时算是有革 命 性的“前进的”女子了，她反抗了家里替她订的旧式婚姻，以致她的顽固的叔父宣言要用手枪打死她，但是她却仍在“胡”字上面加着一个“朱”字！近来的女子就有很多在嫁后仍只由自己的姓名，不加不减。这意义表示女子渐渐地有着她们自己的独立的地位，不是属于任何人所有的了。但是在我的母亲的时代，不但不能学“朱胡彬夏”的用法，简直根本就好像没有名字！我说“好像”，因为那时的女子也未尝没有名字，但在实际上似乎就用不着。
像我的母亲，我听见她的娘家的人们叫她做“十六小姐”男家大家族里的人们叫她做“十四少奶”，后来我的父亲做官，人们便叫做“太太”始终没有用她自己名字的机会！我觉得这种情形也可以暗示妇女在封建社会里所处的地位。
我的母亲在我十三岁的时候就去世了。我生的那一年是在九月里生的，她死的那一年是在五月里死的，所以我们母子两人在实际上相聚的时候只有十一年零九个月。我在这篇文里对于母亲的零星追忆，只是这十一年里的前尘影事。
我现在所能记得的最初对于母亲的印象，大约在两三岁的时候。我记得有一天夜里，我独自一人睡在床上，由梦里醒来，朦胧中睁开眼睛，模糊中看见由垂着的帐门射进来的微微的灯光。在这微微的灯光里瞥见一个青年妇人拉开帐门，微笑着把我抱起来。她嘴里叫我什么，并对我说了什么，现在都记不清了，只记得她把我负在她的背上，跑到一个灯光灿烂人影憧憧往来的大客厅里，走来走去“巡阅”着。大概是元宵吧，这大客厅里除有不少成人谈笑着外，有二三十个孩童提着各色各样的纸灯，里面燃着蜡烛，三五成群地跑着玩。我此时伏在母亲的背上，半醒半睡似的微张着眼看这个，望那个。那时我的父亲还在和祖父同住，过着“少爷”的生活；父亲有十来个弟兄，有好几个都结了婚，所以这大家族里看着这么多的孩子。母亲也做了这大家族里的一分子。她十五岁就出嫁，十六岁那年养我，这个时候才十七八岁。我由现在追想当时伏在她的背上睡眼惺松所见着的她的容态，还感觉到她的活泼的欢悦的柔和的青春的美。我生平所见过的女子，我的母亲是最美的一个，就是当时伏在母亲背上的我，也能觉到在那个大客厅里许多妇女里面：没有一个及得到母亲的可爱。我现在想来，大概在我睡在房里的时候，母亲看见许多孩子玩灯热闹，便想起了我，也许蹑手蹑脚到我床前看了好几次，见我醒了，便负我出去一饱眼福。这是我对母亲最初的感觉，虽则在当时的幼稚脑袋里当然不知道什么叫做母爱。
后来祖父年老告退，父亲自己带着家眷在福州做候补官。我当时大概有了五六岁，比我小两岁的二弟已生了。家里除父亲母亲和这个小弟弟外，只有母亲由娘家带来的一个青年女仆，名叫妹仔。“做官”似乎怪好听，但是当时父亲赤手空拳出来做官，家里一贫如洗。
我还记得，父亲一天到晚不在家里，大概是到“官场”里“应酬”去了，家里没有米下锅；妹仔替我们到附近施米给穷人的一个大庙里去领“仓米”，要先在庙前人山人海里面拥挤着领到竹签，然后拿着竹签再从挤得水泄不通的人群中，带着粗布袋挤到里面去领米；母亲在家里横抱着哭涕着的二弟踱来踱去，我在旁坐在一只小椅上呆呆地望着母亲，当时不知道这就是穷的景象，只诧异着母亲的脸何以那样苍白，她那样静寂无语地好像有着满腔无处诉的心事。妹仔和母亲非常亲热，她们竟好像母女，共患难，直到母亲病得将死的时候，她还是不肯离开她，把孝女自居，寝食俱废地照顾着母亲。
母亲喜欢看小说，那些旧小说，她常常把所看的内容讲给妹仔听。她讲得媚媚动听，妹仔听着忽而笑容满面，忽而愁眉双销。章回的长篇小说一下讲不完，妹仔就很不耐地等着母亲再看下去，看后再讲给她听。往往讲到孤女患难，或义妇含冤的凄惨的情形，她两人便都热泪盈眶，泪珠尽往颊上涌流着。那时的我立在旁边瞧着，莫名其妙，心里不明白她们为什么那样无缘无故地挥泪痛哭一顿，和在上面看到穷的景象一样地不明白其所以然。现在想来，才感觉到母亲的情感的丰富，并觉得她的讲故事能那样地感动着妹仔。如果母亲生在现在，有机会把自己造成一个教员，必可成为一个循循善诱的良师。
我六岁的时候，由父亲自己为我“发蒙”，读的是《三字经》，第一天上的课是“人之初，性本善；性相近，习相远。”一点儿莫名其妙！一个人坐在一个小客厅的炕床上“朗诵”了半天，苦不堪言！母亲觉得非请一位“西席”老夫子，总教不好，所以家里虽一贫如洗，情愿节衣缩食，把省下的钱请一位老夫子。说来可笑第一个请来的这位老夫子，每月束修只须四块大洋（当然供膳宿），虽则这四块大洋，在母亲已是一件很费筹措的事情。我到十岁的时候，读的是“孟子见梁惠王”，教师的每月束修已加到十二元，算增加了三倍。到年底的时候，父亲要“清算”我平日的功课，在夜里亲自听我背书，很严厉，桌上放着一根两指阔的竹板。我的背向着他立着背书，背不出的时候，他提一个字，就叫我回转身来把手掌展放在桌上，他拿起这根竹板很重地打下来。我吃了这一下苦头，痛是血肉的身体所无法避免的感觉，当然失声地哭了，但是还要忍住哭，回过身去再背。不幸又有一处中断，背不下去，经他再提一字，再打一下。呜呜咽咽地背着那位前世冤家的“见梁惠王”的“孟子”！
我自己呜咽着背，同时听得见坐在旁边缝纫着的母亲也唏唏嘘嘘地泪如泉涌地哭着。
我心里知道她见我被打，她也觉得好像刺心的痛苦，和我表着十二分的同情，但她却时时从呜咽着的断断续续的声音里勉强说着“打得好”！她的饮泣吞声，为的是爱她的儿子；勉强硬着头皮说声“打得好”，为的是希望她的儿子上进。由现在看来，这样的教育方法真是野蛮之至！但于我不敢怪我的母亲，因为那个时候就只有这样野蛮的教育法；如今想起母亲见我被打，陪着我一同哭，那样的母爱，仍然使我感念着我的慈爱的母亲。背完了半本“梁惠王”，右手掌打得发肿有半寸高，偷向灯光中一照，通亮，好像满肚子装着已成熟的丝的蚕身一样。母亲含着泪抱我上床，轻轻把被窝盖上，向我额上吻了几吻。
当我八岁的时候，二弟六岁，还有一个妹妹三岁。三个人的衣服鞋袜，没有一件不是母亲自己做的。她还时常收到一些外面的女红来做，所以很忙。我在七八岁时，看见母亲那样辛苦，心里已知道感觉不安。记得有一个夏天的深夜，我忽然从睡梦中醒了起来，因为我的床背就紧接着母亲的床背，所以从帐里望得见母亲独自一人在灯下做鞋底，我心里又想起母亲的劳苦，辗转反侧睡不着，很想起来陪陪母亲。但是小孩子深夜不好好的睡，是要受到大人的责备的，就说是要起来陪陪母亲，一定也要被申斥几句，万不会被准许的（这至少是当时我的心理），于是想出一个借口来试试看，便叫声母亲，说太热睡不着，要起来坐一会儿。出乎我意料之外的，母亲居然许我起来坐在她的身边。我眼巴巴地望着她额上的汗珠往下流，手上一针不停地做着布鞋——做给我穿的。这时万籁俱寂，只听到滴搭的钟声，和可以微闻得到的母亲的呼吸。我心里暗自想念着，为着我要穿鞋，累母亲深夜工作不休，心上感到说不出的歉疚，又感到坐着陪陪母亲，似乎可以减轻些心里的不安成分。当时一肚子里充满着这些心事，却不敢对母亲说出一句。才坐了一会儿，又被母亲赶
上床去睡觉，她说小孩子不好好的睡，起来干什么！现在我的母亲不在了，她始终不知道她这个小儿子心里有过这样的一段不敢说出的心理状态。
母亲死的时候才廿九岁，留下了三男三女。在临终的那一夜，她神志非常清楚，忍泪叫着一个一个子女嘱咐一番。她临去最舍不得的就是她这一群的子女。
我的母亲只是一个平凡的母亲，但是我觉得她的可爱的性格，她的努力的精神，她的能干的才具，都埋没在封建社会的一个家族里，都葬送在没有什么意义的事务上，否则她一定可以成为社会上一个更有贡献的分子。我也觉得，像我的母亲这样被埋没葬送掉的女子不知有多少！
母亲翻译
Tell my mother, I only know that she is "Zhejiang Haining Cha", still do not know what her name is!This little thing can be said today the different times.Now the woman is not married is very "brave" to her name, is married, is equally open her name.Not long ago, married women are most in his own surname above plus the husband's surname; people usually name only three words, after marrying the woman's name often has four characters.
When I was young, known as "women's magazine published by the commercial press" pen g Zhu Hubin summer, was regarded as a revolutionary "forward" woman, she fought back home for her book the customary marriage, that her stubborn uncle declaration to pistol shot her, but she is still in the "Hu" above the word plus a "Zhu"!Recently there are many married woman in still only by his name, not less.This meaning that women gradually have their own independent status, not belonging to any one all.But in my mother's age, not only cannot learn "Zhu Hubin summer" usage, it's simply not like the name of!I say "like", when the woman has no name, but in fact seems to have.
Like my mother, I heard her mother's people call her "Miss sixteen" holds large family people call her "Fourteen little milk", later my father an official, people called the "Lady" has not used her own name opportunity!I think this kind of situation can also be suggestive of women in feudal society position.
My mother when I was thirteen years old when he died.I was born that year was born in September of that year, she died in May died in two, so our mother people actually spend time only eleven years and zero nine months.In this article the mothers of sporadic memories, just the eleven years of the past.
Now I can remember the first impression for the mother, at about the age of two or three.I remember one night, I was alone in bed, by dream, dim eyes, see by fuzzy drooping curtain door came in from the faint light.In this little light to see a young woman opened the curtain door, bring a smile to my arms.Her mouth call me what, and what I said, now remember, remember she put me in her back, ran a brilliant lighting silhouette flickering between large living room, around "Xunyue".Presumably the lantern, the large living room in addition to many adult chatting, having twenty or thirty children with diversiform paper lamps, inside the burning candle, in groups of three and four to run and play.When I fell on the mother's back, half asleep like a piece of eyes on this, hope that.Then my father and grandfather is still living, had a "master" of life; the father had a dozen brothers, there are several married, so the family watched so many children.The mother also made this big family of molecules.At the age of fifteen she was married, at the age of sixteen to raise me, this time just seventeen eight years old.I look at that time by now fell on her back with her sleepy see volume States, also feel her lively behind the gentle beauty of youth.I have ever seen a woman, my mother is the most beautiful one, was the mother's back I fell in, also can feel in the large living room many women: no one and get a lovely.I want to come now, maybe in my sleep in the room when, the mother saw many children play with light and lively, reminds me, maybe make one's way noiselessly to come to my bed to see several times, see I wake up, then take me out a feast for the eyes.This is my first feeling of mother, though at the time of the infant head certainly knows not what is love.
Later resigned his grandfather's old, with families in Fuzhou to do alternate officer.I was about five or six years old, the younger brother is two years younger than I have been born.Home except the father mother and little brother, only by her mother brought a young maid, named Mei tsai.The "official" seems to be very pleasant to the ear, but my father bare-handed government, home on one's uppers.
I still remember the day, father is not at home, presumably to the "official", "entertainment" to go, no home to cook for us; Mei Tsai to nearby he gave poor a temple to bring "warehouse meters", first in front of the temple is crowded with huge crowds of people inside to bamboo, and then with bamboo sticks from the crowded crowd bursting at the seams, with sack pushed inside collar rice; mother at home cross holding crying with his younger brother, I am here to sit in a chair and stared at her mother, did not know that this is just poor sight, surprise a her face is so pale, her silent speechless as a great nowhere v. thoughts.Sister's and mother very affectionate, they are mother and daughter, adversity, until his mother ill and dying, she refused to leave her, the girl, Qinshijufei care of mother.
My mother likes reading novels, those old stories, she often see content to sister Aberdeen listen.She spoke Meimei sounds, sister Aberdeen listen now smiling, sometimes sad double pin.Chapter of the novel to say, sister Tsai is not resistant to waiting mother look down, look after talking to her.Often talked about orphan girl trouble, or a righteous woman miserable situation, her two people had tears, tears out the cheeks of inrush current a.Then I stood next to look, be rather baffling, mind and do not know why they did it is without rhyme or reason. To wipe away tears crying, and see above poor sight as don't know why.Now, to feel her mother's emotion, and that her story so moved to sister aberdeen.If the mother is born in now, the opportunity to own caused a teacher, which will become a be good at giving systematic guidance teacher.
When I was six years old, by the father of my own "Enlightenment", read the "three characters", first day of class is "men at their birth, are good in nature; their natures are much the same, learning phase."A little be rather baffling!A person sitting in a small living room bed "reading" for a long time, suffer unspeakably!Mother thought of a "teacher" the professor, general education is not good, so home is rather scant oneself in food and clothes, put on one's uppers, saving money to please a man.Ridiculous to say first, the old man, only four dollars monthly Shu Xiu （of course for accommodation）， though this four dollars, the mother is a very cost raises.I am at the age of ten, read the "Mencius see lianghuiwang", teacher's monthly Shu Xiu has added twelve yuan, is increased by three times.By the end of the year, father "liquidation" of my daily work, personally endorsed at night listen to me, very tough, a desk with a two means wide bamboo.My back to him stood endorsement, back out, he put a word, I turned around to the palm of exhibition on the table, he picked up this piece of bamboo is heavily beaten down.I ate this suffering, pain is a body of flesh and blood can not avoid feeling, of course was to cry, but also to cry, turned back again.Unfortunately there is a disruption, don't back down again, by his word, then play.Sobbing sobbing with his back to the past. "See" lianghuiwang "Mencius""!
I sobbed back, at the same time hear sat sewing the mother also sob sob hush to cry tears.
In my heart I know she saw I was beaten, she also feel as if stinging pain, and my table with twelve points of sympathy, but she was always from sobbing and voice barely said "play well"!Her to cry without making a noise, as is the love of her son; a brave to say "bad", as is the hope that her son's progress.By now, this kind of education method is really cruel to!But I dare not blame my mother, because at that time is just such a barbaric method of education; now remember mother see I was beaten, accompany me cry, like love, still makes me feel my loving mother.The back end of the "lianghuiwang", the right hand palm played swollen have half an inch high, stealing to light a light, bright, like a full stomach with mature silk of silkworm body.Mother's tears hold me to go to bed, bed lid gently, to my forehead few kiss kiss.
When I was eight years old, younger brother, six years old, and a little sister three years old.Three person's clothes and shoes, no not a mother do.She also regularly received some outside the sewing to do, I am very busy.When I was seven or eight years old, he saw his mother did the hard, the heart knows feeling restless.I remember a late summer night, I suddenly wake up from sleep, because my bed back is followed by the mother's bed back, so from the account could see the mother alone in the lamp as sole, I thinking of mother's work can't sleep, toss and turn restlessly, was to accompany with her mother.But a child late at night without sleep, is to be adults blame, that is to stay with the mother, must be blamed a few million, not allowed （at least it is when my mental）， then come up with an excuse to have a try, will call mother, says it's too hot to sleep with, to sit down for a while.I was contrary to expectation, her mother actually let me up and sit beside her.I looked at her brow down stream, the hand stitch kept doing -- do I wear cloth shoes.This all sounds are still. Only hear, a bell, and may have a slight smell of the mother's breath.I secretly miss, for I want to wear shoes, tired mother night work endlessly, heart felt indescribably guilty, and was sitting with her mother, appears to reduce some restless heart components.When a belly full of these thoughts, but dare not to tell her a word.Just sit for a while, and was the mother of catch
Go to bed, she said that the children do not sleep, do what!Now my mother is gone, she never knew her little son had had such a mental state that dare not say.
The mother died at 29 years old, left three men and three women.At the end of that night, she was very clear, I cried a tear of a child to a.She goes out the most reluctant is her this group of children.
My mother is just an ordinary mother, but I think her cute character, her mental effort, her competent ability, are buried in the feudal society of a family, are buried in meaningless affairs, otherwise she will become the last more contribution of molecular.I also think, like my mother buried ruin woman do not know to have how many!